Testimony -> Conversion -> Discipleship

I know this post has been a long time coming, I left my last post with a 6 month cliffhanger (see previous post to review the discussion topic). The question I ended with was, "how can we, like Peter, overcome our moments of weakness and rededicate ourselves to our conversion for the rest of our lives?"

The answer to this question is simply: by acting, by loving, by serving, and by being a missionary.

Again, I turn to Rob Gardner's beautiful music to teach this principle. Remember that he used chords from other songs to connect the most important songs about Peter's spiritual growth. Sometimes when I don't have enough time to listen to the entire Lamb of God I will just listen to these four songs. I would recommend anyone listening to these four songs sequentially and noticing the connections that occur when parts of past songs are included. The four songs are:

1. This is He
2. Lord, is it I?
3. I Cannot Watch Them (listen to Peter's Denial before if you want the context)
4. At the Sea of Tiberius

In my previous post I discussed the lessons from songs 1-3 about the difference between testimony and conversion. In the fourth song we obtain the answer as to how we remain converted for our entire life. This song is about when Christ asks Peter three times if he loves him. Each time Peter answers that he does and each time Christ tells him to feed his sheep. Notice again in this song how Rob Gardner calls our remembrance to previous songs and, more importantly, important moments in Peter's life. The lesson here is that for Peter to truly demonstrate his conversion he needs to take on the path of discipleship. He needs to preach the gospel, he needs to serve his fellow man, he needs to love others, in short, he needs to Act in Doctrine. As Elder Bednar taught, "a testimony is the initial step on the pathway of ongoing and deepening conversion" (see Chapter 3 of Act in Doctrine for more of Elder Bednar's teachings on conversion). 

For more insight, I refer you to Jeffrey R Holland's talk in October 2012, The First Great Commandment.  In brief, Elder Holland refers to this personal interview between Peter and Jesus as "an exchange with the Savior that I consider the crucial turning point of the apostolic ministry generally and certainly for Peter personally." Elder Holland gave some nonscriptural elaboration of Jesus' response to Peter, "perhaps saying something like: 'Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore by these same nets, having the same conversation?... What I need, Peter, are disciples - and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith." We see here that even though Peter had a testimony and experienced a true conversion he still did not understand the task of discipleship. Having been converted you no longer stand on neutral ground, you can not "return to your former life" (as Elder Holland put it) indifferent of the battle between good and evil.

The conference talk The Music of the Gospel adds to this principle. "We learn the dance steps with our minds, but we hear the music with our hearts. The dance steps of the gospel are the things we do; the music of the gospel is the joyful spiritual feelings that comes from the Holy Ghost. It brings a change of heart and is the source of all righteous desires. The dance steps require discipline, but the joy of the dance will be experienced only when we come to hear the music...heavenly music that accompanies conversion." I really like the analogy with music and dancing. Our testimony is like learning the dance moves but it is not enough to simply know the dance moves are true. Our conversion is when we hear the music of the gospel. But even if we hear the music with our heart sometimes we might "become uncomfortable with the dance and quit dancing." Our "life of devoted discipleship" requires that we actually dance to the music and that we keep dancing. We need to act, to love, to serve, and to preach the gospel.  "If you're not hearing the music of the gospel in your home, please remember these two words: keep practicing. With God's help, the day will come when the music of the gospel will fill your home with unspeakable joy."

Alma gives an amazing sermon in Alma Chapter 5 full of introspective questions. These questions help us to evaluate whether our testimony has led to conversion and if this conversion has led to discipleship. The most poignant question is particularly helpful for those that feel like Peter. "If ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?" If you cannot feel so, then remember how it was that you felt this in the first place. Say a heart felt prayer. Read from your mission journal. Serve with the missionaries. Study and love the Book of Mormon. Why is the Book of Mormon so important for a lifelong conversion? Elder Bednar explained that it is because "the Book of Mormon is filled with inspiring descriptions of continuing and deepening conversion." So not only will you feel the Spirit and "get nearer to God" but it contains a blueprint of how to remain converted. Learn from past spiritual giants. Learn of Nephi, of Abinadi, of Alma, of King Lamoni, of Mormon, of Moroni. See how they remained converted to their Lord, Jesus Christ, despite the trials they faced. I am so grateful for the examples we have in the scriptures of imperfect men that were tools in the hands of the Lord. I hope that we can all learn from the example of Peter. May our testimony lead to conversion and may this be a lifelong conversion as we become disciples.